My Rock

This man is my rock, my best friend, my Husband. These past couple months have been hard! Three months ago we had a big scare when the doctor told us we have to call in hospice. We looked at each other in shock with fear and uncertainty in our eyes, but Allen was right there telling me we will get through this.

Since then, I’ve been back in treatment and back to somewhat normal but this past 24 hours was hard! Last night I was in so much pain that I had to go to the hospital, and because of covid I had to go alone. When Allen saw that I was about to have a full on anxiety attack he just held me as I cried and spoke my fears. He reassured me it is going to be ok, and he helped me work through it all by making me laugh! Coming home still in pain, I just looked at him and said “I’m tired and I don’t mean ‘need a nap tired”. Allen replied, “I know babe”, and he rubbed my back as I cried myself to sleep.

You see I was just 28 when I was diagnosed with stage IV colorectal cancer. I’ve been battling four years with no end in sight and I’m TIRED! I never knew what a battle I would have to fight and the toll it would take, not only on me but everyone involved in my life. I thank god for bringing Allen back into my life and sticking by me because he really is my Rock.

We fight, we have our ups and downs, and we are far from perfect. He drives me crazy, and I him. I don’t give him enough credit sometimes. We are two very different people with complete opposite upbringings. Every day we face the challenges of cancer, co-parenting and just life, but he is still here fighting alongside me. He deals with the broken pieces that I still haven’t healed from my past. But he is still here and still willing to fight through it all. He deals with my extra-ness, my photo shoots, my friends, all the things I want to do to live my best life, all the adventures the memory making and he’s also always right alongside me to advocate for colorectal cancer! He pushes me. He inspires me.

March is colorectal cancer awareness month! So to those who we have lost and miss every day, I will continue to fight and I will continue to advocate! To those who are still fighting, you are not alone we will all keep on keeping on! To the CAREGIVERS who don’t get enough credit, thank you! Thank you to those who all support me! This month wear your blue! Share your strong arm selfies! I never want anyone to have to go through what I have. Colorectal cancer is the most preventable cancer but the number 2 cancer killer!

This month join me in advocating so that no one has to fight this battle! Here is to keep on keeping on